Do i have an original thought in my head, my bald head.

Maybe if i were happier my hair wouldn't be falling out. 

Life is short, i need to make the most of it.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I'm a walking cliche.

I really need to go to the doctor and have my head checked, there is something wrong.

The dentist called again, i'm way overdo.

If i stopped putting things off i would be happier.

All i do is sit on my fat ass.

If my ass wasn't fat i would be happier.

I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tales out all the time.

Like that is fooling anyone.

FATT ASS!

I should start jogging again, five miles a day.

Really do it this time, maybe rockclimbing.

I need to turn my life around.

What do i need to do?

I need to fall in love, i need to have a girlfriend, i need to read more and prove myself.

What if i learned russian or something.

I could speak chinese- i would be the screenwriter who speaks chinese.

That would be cool.

I should get my hair cut short, stop trying to fool myself.

Just be real, confident.

Isn't that what women are attracted to?

Men don't have to be attractive, but thats not true.

Especially these days, almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days.

Why should i have be made to feel that i have to apologise for my existance.

Maybe it's my brainchemistry, maybe that's what's wrong with me, bad chemistry.

All my problems and anxiety can be reduce to a chemical inbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses.

But i'll still be ugly though, nothing is going to change that.

Charlie Kaufman's monologue from the movie Adaptation by Spike Jonze.